Beyond the Day to Day…
One of the great lessons of life is that relationships matter. When built on a strong foundation of trust and mutual respect, they stand the test of time. They are incredible assets to be valued and cherished. Assets that can be relied upon especially in times of need or periods of stress. So many times, in the moment – it’s easy to overlook the ‘relationship’ when in the midst of a transaction or when in a hurry. But it’s in these times, it’s so very important to pause, take a moment, perhaps a breath – and think about how best to honor the relationship in whatever action you may be planning.
Relationships are fundamental to the human experience, shaping our emotional and psychological landscapes. They provide us with a sense of belonging and security, acting as anchors during life’s storms. At the core of these bonds lies a shared understanding and empathy that enables individuals to confront challenges together, making them more manageable. Whether they are familial ties, friendships, or romantic partnerships, nurturing deep interpersonal relationships is essential not only for personal fulfillment but also for mental and emotional stability.
Take, for instance, the story of Maria and her grandmother, who shared a close bond throughout Maria's upbringing. When Maria faced the challenges of adolescence, including academic pressures and social anxieties, it was her grandmother's unwavering support that provided a safe space for her to express her feelings. Their nightly talks over tea became a routine that helped Maria navigate her struggles while instilling confidence in her abilities. This deep relationship not only strengthened Maria’s resilience during tough times but also fostered a lifelong connection that continued to guide her into adulthood. Maria often reflects on these moments, acknowledging that her grandmother’s wisdom and love acted as
a cornerstone for her ability to cope with future challenges.
Similarly, in a professional context, the partnership between two coworkers, Jake and Sarah, illustrates the importance of strong working relationships. Tasked with a demanding project that was critical for their company, they initially faced hurdles due to differing work styles and communication gaps. However, recognizing their shared goals, they dedicated time to develop their partnership by fostering open dialogue and collaboration. Over time, their relationship
blossomed into a trusted alliance, enabling them to navigate stress and uncertainty together. Their ability to lean on each other not only led to the project's success but also cultivated a supportive work environment that motivated their colleagues to strengthen their own relationships, demonstrating that the value of connection extends beyond the immediate duo.
In communities, strong relationships often serve as the bedrock of resilience during crises. Consider the aftermath of natural disasters, where neighborhoods come together to support one another in rebuilding efforts. These bonds, formed through shared experiences and mutual aid, create networks of trust that are invaluable during challenging times. Residents who may not have previously interacted often forge meaningful connections as they work side-by-side, sharing resources and expertise. These newfound relationships turn into lasting friendships, ensuring that the community is not only resilient in the face of adversity but also equipped with a support system that extends well beyond the crisis.
Ultimately, relationships act as enduring assets that transcend moments of difficulty. They offer emotional capital that can be drawn upon in times of need, providing comfort, guidance, and strength.
The value of these connections must be recognized and actively cultivated, as they can profoundly influence our lives, shaping not only how we cope with challenges but also how we celebrate our successes. Strengthening relationships—in all forms—should be a priority, for they are the ties that bind us together, enriching our lives and providing a steadfast foundation to navigate the complexities of existence.
Relationship Fortification
Contributed by Friends of the Sunshine Initiative, Nick Manluccia and Lamees Alshawkani
“You never do the dishes!” “We’re overspending again!” “We don’t get enough time together.” “I need time to myself!” Any of these sound familiar? Romantic relationships can be a source of immense joy and fulfillment—but inevitably challenges arise, both big and small.
Relationship Fortification is a simple framework for having honest conversations to help your relationship soar. It allows partners to candidly share feedback, reinforce the relationship’s strengths, and address challenges—cooperatively and compassionately.My wife and I joke that it’s like couples therapy, without the therapist. At the very beginning of our relationship, we started having these biweekly discussions to address and preempt hurdles, and share gratitude for one another.
We talk about everything in our sessions: communication, jealousy, health, sex, finances, family dynamics, pet peeves, division of household labor—you name it. Do some of these conversations create discomfort? Absolutely. It’s not easy tackling challenges head-on. But having a dedicated time for it offers baseline assurance that we’re both willing to try.
We record potential topics in our respective “Topic Queues,” private phone notes that help organize our thoughts. Writing challenges down makes it easier to let go of them in the moment: if we’ll have the opportunity to address concerns later, why let them linger and ruin the mood?
In truth, we skip over some of the topics we record. Stuff that annoyed us initially often doesn’t matter when the next session comes around. This begs the question: was it really such a big deal in the first place?
We still address certain challenges when they occur: the sessions aren’t a substitute for healthy, day-to-day communication. But reserving bigger, complicated topics for fortification tends to yield more productive discussions.
Food and health have generally been hot topics for us: I come from an Italian-American family and love to cook. Nothing rouses more culinary delight than a glopping piece of my mom’s eggplant parmesan, or a big plate of my Nonnie’s spaghetti and meatballs. My wife (much to my chagrin) keeps a mostly low-carb, low-dairy diet. Through conversations during fortification, I adapted my cooking style, and she agreed to the occasional carb-y dinner. While I miss my spaghetti, I’ve never been in better shape.
Finance was another big one, especially toward the beginning of our relationship. I knew my wife’s annual income, and knew she had (mercifully) just finished paying off her student loans—so I couldn’t wrap my mind around her thriftiness with certain things.As it turned out, she had expenses and financial commitments that I wasn’t aware of, like supporting her family members and self-funding every part of her clean, sustainable fashion startup. With that perspective, I better understood her cost-consciousness, and reigned in some of my more frivolous spending too.
Our relationship still has ups and downs, but there’s a solid foundation—much of which we owe to Relationship Fortification. After seeing the benefits, we decided to share our approach with friends and family. We started by hosting a workshop during our wedding weekend, and followed up with a Google Doc detailing the method.
People loved it.
Many adopted the practice, or a variation of their own. For example, some of our closest friends affectionately call each other “Cub,” so they refer to their fortification sessions as “Cub Care!” We encourage adding your own spin.
This universally positive reception from friends and family inspired us to share more broadly, so we built a website. But neither my wife nor I are therapists and felt apprehensive about publishing unvalidated recommendations. So we assembled a panel of expert advisors: they meticulously reviewed the site content, to ensure it aligned with communication best practices, and gave us the confidence to share.
Now Relationship Fortification is out in the world, and we hope it helps others as much as it has helped us! We break the practice down into four parts: Prep, Ground, Share, and Sustain.
“Prep” is about identifying what you’d like to work on, and how you’d like to communicate it
“Ground” means getting ready to receive feedback—it’s about keeping an open mind and preparing to understand your partner’s perspective
“Share” is the fortification session itself—you take turns discussing topics and collaboratively working through challenges
“Sustain” involves celebrating the wins and committing to the next session
We detail each step in the “How to fortify” section of the site, which is available completely for free. It takes about 30 minutes to read through all four sections, but if you’re pressed for time, there’s a “Fortification in 5 Minutes” page.
Notably, we try to avoid “therapyspeak,” jargon, cloying metaphors—anything that risks an eye roll. We stick to simple language that makes the concepts accessible, and encourage people to think like engineers, working on a problem together. “It’s not me versus you, it’s us versus the challenge,” as a wise friend shared. This mentality helps keep strong reactions and emotions at bay.
That said, emotions can come up, and sometimes they’re uncomfortable—but even still, we believe it’s better to hear feedback when you’re expecting it. When challenges go unspoken, they tend to accumulate and explode at inopportune times. Fortification helps avoid those unexpected blowouts. It isn’t a time to fight or bicker: it’s a time to listen, empathize, and troubleshoot together.
We keep things on track with our 4 session guardrails, my favorite being “Consider other factors.” What else was going on that might have caused or contributed to the challenge (work stress, back pain, hormones, etc.)? Moreover, how might I have contributed to the challenge? Is there anything I could’ve done better? Perhaps something I did to make it worse?
Admittedly, we don’t always resolve a challenge in a single session—and we’ve realized that’s okay. Oftentimes it’s enough to simply understand, or be understood.
If you’re currently partnered, we’d encourage you to learn the basics of fortification and give it a go! One piece of advice: start small. Limit yourself to one or two challenges at first and choose topics that seem manageable. It’s more important to establish the habit than to address every single thing during your initial sessions. You can work your way up to bigger challenges once you’ve established a regular rhythm. And don’t forget to share the things you appreciate about your partner too! We always start and end on a high note.
As a bonus, we’re currently running a fortification challenge (with prizes) to encourage people to try the framework. We’ll also be hosting a free workshop online, Sunday, March 2nd, 2pm ET/ 11am PT—join us to learn more.
Happy fortifying!
P.S. We notice that men are sometimes more reluctant to try fortification, but there’s a lot to gain! Fortification doesn’t have to be a touchy-feely emotion-fest. Have you been craving a night out with the guys? What about that thing you’ve been wanting to try in bed? No guarantees, but fortification provides a space to be completely honest about what you want. By working together, you can often find a way forward that feels comfortable for both partners.
Volunteering: The Missing Link - Helping Young People Build Meaningful Relationships
In years past, in small towns across America, community was the foundation of daily life. Young people grew up surrounded by neighbors, attended local church services, and learned the value of service from family and mentors. Today, things look different. Church attendance is down, in-person social activities have declined, and Gen Z spends an average of seven hours a day on screens. While technology has its benefits, many young people feel disconnected from their communities and struggle to build relationships outside of school or the internet.
That’s where passion and career aligned volunteering comes in.
Our friends at Project Happy https://www.projecthappy.world/ have seen firsthand how service breaks down the barriers between young people and their communities. When students volunteer, they don’t just complete a task—they meet people, form friendships, and begin to see themselves as part of something bigger. They move from being passive observers of their town to active participants in its success. Instead of feeling isolated, they begin to identify as community-connected individuals—people who give back rather than sit on the sidelines. This is incredibly powerful!
Through service, young people also can build relationships across generations. They work alongside dedicated local leaders, nonprofit organizers, and help people from all walks of life. These interactions provide role models, mentorship, appreciation, and a sense of belonging that no screen can replicate. Whether it’s coaching a youth sports team, cleaning up a local park, or packing meals at a food pantry, volunteering fosters deep, meaningful connections that last far beyond the moment of service.
Project Happy itself is proof that relationships matter. The program’s success is only possible because of the partnerships built with amazing community leaders, schools, and nonprofits across New Hampshire. These relationships connect students with various opportunities to serve, ensuring that young people feel empowered to make a difference in their own backyards.
In a time when many young people feel more disconnected than ever, volunteering offers a path back to community, purpose, and real, in-person relationships. It’s not just about service—it’s about belonging. And when young people feel like they belong, they don’t just thrive; they stay around, and help entire towns thrive too.
If we want to revitalize small-town America, we need to catalyze our young people. And the best way to do that? Give them the opportunity to serve.
Town of the Week – Beautiful, Historic Webster, New Hampshire!
Named after Daniel Webster, the great American Statesman who dedicated about 40 of his 70 years on this earth to public service, this is a town that can take you back in time and give you a great opportunity to catch your breath. You can pick up some lemongrass cucumber pickles at the farmer’s market, launch a boat on Lake Winnepocket (assuming you can get permission), or stop by Coffin Cellars to try their fruit and berry style wines.
To say you’ve lived in Webster, NH for “some time” is likely to mean your whole life. Much as your parents and grandparents and perhaps earlier generations had as well. Occasionally, people move away, and others move in, sometimes from the other side of the country. Overall, though, the town is pretty well preserved in many ways. It still looks the way Norman Rockwell would have depicted it, in many ways, back in the 1950’s. More than 2/3rds of the households are married couples living together and about half of them have children under the age of eighteen at home.
While nearby Franklin nearly tripled in population between 1870 and 1970 to over 7300, Webster actually shrunk in half from 689, and gradually grew again. Even after the growth, there were nine fewer residents 100 years later, in 1970. During the 70’s and 80’s was the largest growth, but even today there are less than 2000 residents. Even though the main road that runs through the middle of most of the town is Battle St, Webster is a quiet place and good friendships and relationships there are more commonplace.
Interestingly, winemaker Peter Coffin Austin was named after a whaling Captain ancestor from the early 1800’s. The Captain was so well known during his time, that the Innskeeper in the book Moby Dick was named after him. You could also stay at the Cozy Pond camping resort. If you just want to go for a hike, Cogswell Woods area is the place to go get lost in the woods. If you happen to stay in Webster for “some time”, you just might get to know a few people and form some great relationships that last for life.
‘Lean On Me’ - How We Help Each Other Along the Journey
Throughout our lives we experience a series of highs and lows, successes and setbacks. Along the way, the relationships we build become our foundation—the people we lean on during struggles and those we celebrate with when opportunities arise. Relationships aren’t just about companionship; they represent resilience, trust, and mutual support. Our strongest bonds remind us that sometimes we need help, and sometimes we are the ones offering it. This dynamic exchange of support defines the human experience and reinforces the importance of meaningful connections.
In Hardship: Leaning on Each Other
No one succeeds alone, and no one should have to struggle alone. When we face challenges, the presence of strong relationships can truly make the difference and spark perseverance. A small business owner facing financial difficulties may find relief through the encouragement and advice of an experienced member of the industry. A young professional dealing with a career setback can regain confidence from friends who remind them of their potential. A family grappling with illness often finds comfort in the kindness of neighbors who bring meals, run errands, or simply offer their presence.
The Navy SEALs have a concept called the swim buddy system, where each member is responsible for the well-being of another. This philosophy of unwavering support ensures that no one is left behind. In everyday life, we may not be navigating combat zones, but we do face challenges that require us to lean on others. The willingness to ask for help and the readiness to provide it are the building blocks of strong relationships and resilient communities.
In Opportunity: Building Together
Relationships are equally vital when building something new. Innovators and entrepreneurs often find that their biggest breakthroughs come through collaboration rather than working alone. An aspiring musician can grow exponentially with the feedback of fellow artists. A grassroots movement gains traction when individuals unite with a shared purpose, amplifying each other's voices (much like the American Sunshine Movement). Even in personal growth, the presence of supportive people, such as friends who challenge us, colleagues who push us forward, and leaders who share wisdom, makes the journey more impactful and rewarding.
Consider the revitalization of small towns across America. The communities that succeed in bringing back main street businesses and fostering economic growth are those where people work together. When shop owners aim to collaborate around a shared goal, when neighbors invest in their local economy, and when leaders listen to the needs of their people, progress happens. Relationships create the foundation for this kind of transformation, turning individual efforts into collective success.
A Shared Journey
Throughout life, we all experience moments of struggle and moments of momentum. The beauty of relationships is their ability to adapt to these shifting needs. The exchange of support is not transactional but part of a continuous cycle that we all participate in.
By embracing the power of relationships, we strengthen our communities, empower individuals, and remind ourselves that no one has to walk alone. Whether in adversity or ambition, the people we surround ourselves with shape our path. When we show up for each other, we create lasting success and a future built on connection and trust.
Positive Profile of the Week: Nick Manluccia and Lamees Alshawkani
This week we are delighted to highlight a wonderful couple and true leaders in the fostering of strong relationships, Nick Manluccia and Lamees Alshawkani.
Together, they are the founders of Relationship Fortitude, a philosophy and methodology that is helping countless individuals build positive relationships that can stand the test of time.
They are an inspirational couple but are each also highly accomplished in their own right, live interesting lives and are immensely generous in their desire to help others. Nick loves thinking about how people think. He works as a User Experience Researcher at Google, and holds a Master's in Psychology from New York University, where he moonlights as an adjunct instructor.
Lamees values clarity and transparency. She is a practicing doctor of optometry in New York's Soho neighborhood, where patients love her active listening and caring bedside manner. She is also a fashion entrepreneur focused on her clean, sustainable clothing brand, Sailaal.
How they met and how their relationship has flourished serves as a testament to others. They met in Bermuda back in 2019, but the timing wasn't quite right. Lamees lived in New York City and wasn't looking for a relationship. Nick lived in London,and was dating someone at the time.
But they stayed in touch and reconnected during the pandemic. Their first date? A 24-hour turnaround trip from NYC to Miami, to catch a boat party hosted by their Bermuda friends. Unfortunately, they missed their flight because as they later described, ‘we were too busy flirting with each other at the gate ("We called you on the loudspeaker five times," said an unsympathetic gate attendant)’
They scrambled, found another flight, and made it just as the boat started to depart. That would be the first of many challenges they’ve overcome as a couple.
We thank Nick and Lamees for their leadership, their positive spirit and urge you all to learn more about their intriguing methodology, Relationship Fortitude, as truly, relationships do matter!
Quote of the Week: Relationships Matter!
"In the long run, the most important thing is your reputation, and you build your reputation by building lasting relationships."
-Stephen R. Covey
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